you are so beautiful to me

i like to write prayers, thoughts and praises in the midst of worship. i have found that it helps me to be more delibrate and focused on not just going through the motions. this last wednesday night was no exception.

for almost a week, i had been battling feelings of unattractiveness and worthlessness. satan plays these cards frequently and it really infuriates me how effective they tend to be. needless to say, my heart was heavy and was crying out to get a glimpse of how God sees me. i wrote this down along with praise and thanks for being who He is. after worship ended, pastor ted spoke briefly of a song that God had laid on his heart to have sung over the church. he proceeded to encourage us to openly receive the words from God's heart. as pastor anthony sang these words, tears cascaded down my face.

you are so beautiful to me.

you are so beautiful to me. can't you see?

you're everything i planned for.

you're everything i dreamed.

you are so beautiful to me.

in that moment, God's extravagant love overwhelmed me. He knew what struggles i would be having that week, long before that night. to imagine all of the things he had orchestrated for me are unfathomable. beyond that momentary glimpse, i tend to still struggle with those feelings, but the depth of His love for me exceeds my wildest imagination. just think...it's not just those rare moments that He has ordained, but every breath and every step.