this week has been interesting to say the least. over dinner monday night, i realized that my kind heart and somewhat naive personality had been GREATLY misread as romantic interest. circumstances being what they are, i had let some of my "safety nets" down and was blindsided by the most awkward conversation of my life.
i HATE that i was taken by surprise and that i didn't react more defensively. i wish i would have had the strength and wisdom to be blunt and walk away from the situation. so blessed that it was only an awkward conversation and not anything worse. extravagantly blessed and thankful to have amazing people to step in and help me walk through this.
my initial response is to withdraw and retreat. i fear "needy" people because i am not enough. it's hard to reach out if my heart can be so misinterpreted.
i'm still definitely processing and assessing where my boundaries should be put. this will NOT stop me from being who i am or keep me from reaching out. it just might tweak my actions just a bit...
praying that it all ends tomorrow with a talk from a couple of my church leaders...
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