God's working on a theme in my life right now. (i'm sometimes a slow learner, so He has to remind me of things over and over and over and over...) yesterday i blogged about how i need to take action and use the gifts and abilities God has given to me. last night i watched american idol. (it is so hard for me to watch that show at times, because i feel that some people's passion is being unnecessarily crushed and mutilated.) anyways, it got me thinking about singing again. i LOVE to sing.
well, tonight at church, Pastor Jason spoke about his vision for our church for 2009, and he asked us to pray about how God wants us to take a step towards His plans for our life. he even spoke about needing to take the promises that God has given us and to pursue them. take it off of the shelf that we placed it on in hopes of staying comfortable and safe, dust it off and TAKE A STEP! after church, i was talking with a friend and the conversation took an interesting turn. God was TOTALLY directing this talk. one of the members of the worship band walked by and she told him that she enjoyed hearing him play. that led into me saying that i love seeing people on stage who are clearly passionate and are fully worshiping using instruments or their voices. then she asked me if i sing. she encouraged me to pursue singing at the church on a worship team. ahhh. now i am feeling a little overwhelmed.
like i said, i love to sing. i was in choir in middle and high school and i helped lead in worship at my Dad's church. in the time that has elapsed since then, i have felt less confident of my abilities. BUT, one summer during high school, God gave me a vision. i was at camp crestview for church camp, and one evening after some worship, we were silently waiting for the Lord to speak to us. i immediately got a vision of myself in front of a gigantic crowd, with my arms stretched out in full abandoned praise. it was breath-taking, the image of my passionate love for God touching hundreds or thousands of people through songs. i was ecstatic but afraid. i couldn't imagine me, an insecure and shy girl doing anything amazing.
fast forward to today. some things have changed, others haven't. i am still blown away that God might want to use me to do anything that BIG. i still feel insecure about my abilities. but then i remember the lesson mari helped me learn just yesterday. i don't know how i will get there, or when it might happen, but i know that God is wanting me to take a step. He wants me to sing.
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