what will it take?

i just crawled into bed after a leisurely bubble bath.  even though my body is fully relaxed and eager to drift off to sleep, my mind and heart are wrestling inside of me.

i long to be passionate and fully dependent on God.  i want to be intentionally living my days seeking His will to be done in my life and those around me.  to be honest, i am no where near that.

am i ready to pay the price?

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it."

Luke 9:23-24

go read this post.  seriously.  RIGHT NOW!  i cannot stress how much i want you to hear those words...

what will it take for me to have a heart that is so desperate for God?

what will i have to lose to bring me to that place?

God...bring it.

a new year...

my blog sure has been quiet lately, but life sure has not.  time keeps ticking away and my mind is racing with all the things i wish i would have time to write about.  so...without further ado and in no particular order...here is my first word vomit of the year.

Christmas was great amazing phenomenal.  :o) i invited a certain friend along, and he officially became my boyfriend on Christmas day.  God apparently decided to throw me a crazy surprise amidst the festivities of the month of December.  i will have to properly introduce you to Andrew soon with a picture, but for now you will have to wait...

God recently used a sermon to speak peace into a rocky place in my faith walk.  so excited to share about that.  for now, if you are interested in the scripture involved, read about Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22:1-19.

my heart is heavy tonight for my friend Christina.  i met her about seven years ago while working in cannon beach and was so blessed by her passion and faith.  three-ish years ago she began walking through a new season of life as doctors discovered a brain tumor.  she has fought hard and was in remission until just recently.  she will be undergoing another brain surgery on wednesday.  to catch a glimpse of how God is moving in her life, go visit her here!  i have been so blessed by her transparency and words of hope.  PLEASE PRAY!

a couple months ago, i felt God calling me to embark on a grand adventure this september and as long as i get accepted and finances are miraculously worked out, i will be heading to BELIZE!  i am working on the application these next couple weeks, and will try to keep you updated on details.  for now, go check out the YWAM website for my base.  :o)

whew!  yeah... 2011 is shaping up to be an interesting year indeed...can't wait to see what God has planned!

noticed.

ever wonder if you are noticed?

especially during a season of chaos and unwanted change, i tend to disappear a little.  not always physically, but most likely i "check out" and go through the motions.  i feel like i have worked so hard my entire life to blend in and not rock the boat.  even while desiring the quietness and peace of the wallpaper existence, i long to be seen and sought after.

simple words or a hug can mean the world to me.  i am so blessed by the people around me that notice me. you know who you are...thank you.

Christmas storybook land!

storybook land is a piece of my childhood i hope i never forget.  i found a couple pictures from back in the day...my first two visits.

walking up to the building today, the memories and smells came flooding back to me.  in between the displays and along the walkways, there are hundreds of Christmas trees and lights are strung everywhere.

these stuffed dolls and the huge teddy bear are bigger than i am and have been there for as long as i can remember...

the grinch is always so much fun.  there is an X marked on the ground that you can jump on and when you do, he jumps too.  so cool...

the kids LOVED it.  i LOVED seeing their excitement and remembering what it was like when i was younger.  

now it feels more like Christmas...

love.

i needed to hear this today. sometimes my focus is on God's never-ending power or justice (which is not bad, just a different focus).

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35-39

i cannot walk away or outrun His love for me.

if i disappoint Him...He loves me.

if i mess up (again...and again)...He still loves me.

a full recovery...

a couple weeks ago, mari had minor surgery to remove her tonsils. after about a week and a half of feeling pretty miserable, i'm happy to report that she is back to her normal, talkative, mischevious, crazy self. here she is showing off some of her vocabulary...

black friday and a photo shoot...

good news:  i got a new camera!
bad news: target opened at 4 am...

while waking up at that time of morning is not usually welcomed, my sister and i ventured out to have a little black friday excursion at about 3:30 am.  usually there are only two moods when i'm sleep deprived...grumpy and goofy.  luckily i woke up a little goofy and ended up enjoying the long lines.  i made new friends and instigated a cheer as the line started moving.  after about a 45 minute wait inside of target, my new camera was in my hands.

today was the first chance i had to play around with it due to a LONG nap after shopping on friday.  here are some of my favorites...