friends and family.

the impending goodbyes (72 more days...) have given clarity to otherwise normal activities.  countless times over the past months emotions hit like a Mack truck as soon as the night is ending.  bible study with my small group, spending the day with family, and a barbecue with friends have all brought me to tears.

i'm going to miss this.

it's ridiculous to me that we wait until major life changes occur to realize the blessings that are right in front of us.  don't wait.

the quest...

if you have known me for very long you most likely have noticed my constant companion...my water bottle.   99.9% of the time i never leave home without it.  most people almost immediately notice when i get a new one, which definitely makes me smile.  sometimes it is a hassle to carry but it's a small price to pay when you can quench your thirst anytime you like.

my water bottles have looked different over the years.  the earliest i remember consistently carrying one was back in 2003.

the nalgene.

over time i had three...green, pink and purple.  i HAD to have a little splash guard on the inside or i would get a little shower especially while walking or driving.  easy to clean but a beast to carry (i had the 32oz bottle).  could have doubled as a weapon for self defense if needed though.  indestructible.  i used to lay it down on it's side and stand on it for fun to challenge my balance.  one of my friends threw one off a second story to test the strength...the fall broke part of the lid but it still didn't leak.

next came the camelbak.

these seem to be the perfect size (25 oz).  love the camelbak especially when i'm working out or in the car.  kind of like a sippy cup for adults.  :o)  i don't like taking these to the beach or camping though because the mouth piece can get really gross so easily.

those two styles had me quite content until last year.  the search has only intensified with my upcoming trip...the quest for the perfect water bottle.  {i'm okay with sounding ridiculous.  just think of my water bottle being similar to your search for the perfect purse or coolest phone.  :o) }

the last two styles i have tried have been mediocre.  i can not see them being quite as resilient or listed as my favorites at any point.

here is the thermos roho style.

not too shabby but not amazing.  the lid on my favorite one is starting to give me some issues.

my latest buy: the vapur.

pretty stinkin' sweet idea.  totally collapsible (other than the lid) plastic bottle.   i loved taking this on a short hike and being able to roll it up and put it in my pocket after i drank all the water.  it only holds 16ish oz and probably would be super awkward to drink out of if it was any bigger.  after about a week or so of using it, the plastic stuff around the clip started to peel.  not sure how much longer it will last...

i don't want to settle for second best.  i'm on the hunt for the one that gets to travel the world with me.  :o)  any suggestions?

unresolved issues...

i try to ignore the little things.  hastily spoken words that shouldn't have wounded me, misread situations, and even physical pain.  i don't want to appear weak.  i can handle it...until i can't.

with my trip to Belize coming soon (84 more days!), i figured i should probably have my foot checked by a doctor.  i've been having some pain on the ball of my foot off and on for over a year.  yeah...just checked my running log and it started bugging me last may.  though it has been a nuisance, i really wouldn't have had it checked out if it wasn't for the trip.  after all, i can deal with it...

well, i found out friday that i fractured a small bone in my foot (one of the sesamoid bones if you were wondering).  a pea-sized bone that i didn't even realize existed has been the source of the nagging pain.  healing would have happened a LONG time ago had i dealt with the issue in the beginning instead of impeding the process by trying to ignore the ache.

ever since my appointment with the podiatrist, i've been trying to pinpoint other little things in life that haven't received proper attention.  i have a feeling bitterness and procrastination wouldn't be able to commandeer my heart and my time quite as often if i stopped pushing things aside like they don't matter.  little issues would stay little issues.

if it takes less stress, drama, time and energy to deal with things immediately, why do we put it off?  ridiculous...

distance in worship.

when guilt and shame are weighing down my heart, engaging in worship seems so hard.  the fact that i am a sinner is so evident that i am ashamed to face anyone...especially the one who knows all of my thoughts, intentions and actions.  but the truth is that i am always in desperate need of the Savior, constantly falling short.

when worship is "easy", am i humbly coming before God with a genuine and honest view of myself?

the distance that is highlighted when i am confronted by my unworthiness reminds me of how far God is willing to go to reach me.  gratefulness infiltrates the depths of my heart and i'm brought to a deeper place of worship than ever before.

"Two people owed money to a certain moneylender.  One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.  Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both.  Now which of them will love him more?”  

Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

Luke 7:41-43