pyramids vs. mobiles

i currently just re-read the book "The Shack" by William P. Young. one of the paragraphs really convicted me this time through.

"I don't want to be first among a list of values; I want to be at the center of everything. When I live in you, then together we can live through everything that happens to you. Rather than a pyramid, I want to be the center of a mobile, where everything in your life -- your friends, family, occupation, thoughts, activities -- is connected to me but moves with the wind, in and out and back and forth, in an incredible dance of being."

i've always been frustrated about my priorities. i'll figure out what i want them to look like, and make all sorts of lists, but inevitably i fail and feel guilty. could it be that i shouldn't have God on my list? is that one of the reasons that it never works...it was never meant to be that way?

"If you put God at the top, what does that really mean and how much is enough? How much time do you give me before you can go on about the rest of your day, the part that interests you so much more?"

how much guilt have i suffered through by using this faulty idea of scheduling God into my day? don't get me wrong, i'm NOT saying to disregard time in the Word or praying or daily devotions or things like that. what i am saying is that God doesn't show up for his "appointment" and then leave. HE WANTS ALL OF YOU ALL OF THE TIME! that overwhelms me, but listen to this quote from the book.

"I've never placed an expectation on you or anyone else. The idea behind expectations requires that someone does not know the future or outcome and is trying to control behavior to get the desired result. Humans try to control behavior largely through expectations. I know you and everything about you. Why would I have an expectation other than what I already know? That would be foolish. And beyond that, because I have no expectations, you never disappoint me."

hmmm. lots to digest and think about. if you haven't read this book, i highly recommend it.