nine days...

I am amazed. God's direction and provision especially this past month has been incredible. Sending in my first big payment to YWAM was a leap of faith, clearing out my bank account and leaving me to rely on His peace. Two days later, a little over $1500 came in through donations and garage sale profit. The following Saturday, I received a letter informing me that my $1100 hospital bill from March was covered 100% by financial aid! My heart is being transformed through this process as I'm being shown daily that God's hand is directing my life. Nine more days until I hop on an airplane and venture out beyond anything I have ever known. Though this trip has been on my radar for quite a while, the reality has yet to sink in. My emotions vary greatly minute by minute, fluctuating between excitement, nervousness, anticipation and grieving the time I'll miss with friends and family here. My to-do list seems daunting and I'm trying to squeeze in time with everyone that I love. It is definitely crunch time.

It has been a spectacular thing to see how the family of God can make up such a strong united force. Financial support has been so tangible to see, but the prayers and words of encouragement have made such an amazing impact as well. It really serves as a reminder to step out and speak and act on what God has called me to do, even if I feel it is small or insignificant.

As of today, I am still needing some financial support for the training portion of my trip. As I have seen God working recently, I am going into this week with little worry in regards to the provision (which is a miracle in itself...I tend to worry WAY too much.). I am still needing about $800 of the $2625 payment. After this payment I will begin collecting money for the outreach segment of the trip. It has been a challenge for me to ask for help, but so cool to see God orchestrating the details instead of earning it under my own strength. Contact me by commenting or e-mail if you would like to help!

To see where I will be, check out www.ywamdp.org !

ten thousand reasons

i am so blessed.  incredibly thankful.

loving singing this song at the top of my lungs...

kobe.

today i had a chance to breathe.  reflect on the ups, downs, challenges and triumphs these last few weeks have contained.  i hadn’t expected to say good-bye to anyone yet, but a forever good-bye blindsided me.

this week i went hiking with a good friend, but without my favorite hiking buddy.  tears stung my eyes as memories penetrated my heart.

though he was not mine, my heart claimed him as such.  he would joyfully welcome me the moment i would walk in the door.

i hope to never forget the moments we would run around the house like crazy or quietly enjoy the view at the top of Angel’s Rest.

time would slip away and we didn’t hang out as much after i moved out of his family’s home.  when reunited, my heart would always burst at his excitement to see me.  a few times he even crawled into my lap and almost knocked me over.

was this a glimpse of what unconditional love feels like?

“A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb.  Give him your heart and he'll give you his.  How many people can you say that about?  How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special?  How many people can make you feel extraordinary?”  -- Marley & Me

i miss you Kobe.

YWAM Letter!

Please send me your address if you would like to receive an informative support letter about my trip with YWAM.  I finally got it done...now to enjoy this beautiful sunshine.  :o)

friends and family.

the impending goodbyes (72 more days...) have given clarity to otherwise normal activities.  countless times over the past months emotions hit like a Mack truck as soon as the night is ending.  bible study with my small group, spending the day with family, and a barbecue with friends have all brought me to tears.

i'm going to miss this.

it's ridiculous to me that we wait until major life changes occur to realize the blessings that are right in front of us.  don't wait.

the quest...

if you have known me for very long you most likely have noticed my constant companion...my water bottle.   99.9% of the time i never leave home without it.  most people almost immediately notice when i get a new one, which definitely makes me smile.  sometimes it is a hassle to carry but it's a small price to pay when you can quench your thirst anytime you like.

my water bottles have looked different over the years.  the earliest i remember consistently carrying one was back in 2003.

the nalgene.

over time i had three...green, pink and purple.  i HAD to have a little splash guard on the inside or i would get a little shower especially while walking or driving.  easy to clean but a beast to carry (i had the 32oz bottle).  could have doubled as a weapon for self defense if needed though.  indestructible.  i used to lay it down on it's side and stand on it for fun to challenge my balance.  one of my friends threw one off a second story to test the strength...the fall broke part of the lid but it still didn't leak.

next came the camelbak.

these seem to be the perfect size (25 oz).  love the camelbak especially when i'm working out or in the car.  kind of like a sippy cup for adults.  :o)  i don't like taking these to the beach or camping though because the mouth piece can get really gross so easily.

those two styles had me quite content until last year.  the search has only intensified with my upcoming trip...the quest for the perfect water bottle.  {i'm okay with sounding ridiculous.  just think of my water bottle being similar to your search for the perfect purse or coolest phone.  :o) }

the last two styles i have tried have been mediocre.  i can not see them being quite as resilient or listed as my favorites at any point.

here is the thermos roho style.

not too shabby but not amazing.  the lid on my favorite one is starting to give me some issues.

my latest buy: the vapur.

pretty stinkin' sweet idea.  totally collapsible (other than the lid) plastic bottle.   i loved taking this on a short hike and being able to roll it up and put it in my pocket after i drank all the water.  it only holds 16ish oz and probably would be super awkward to drink out of if it was any bigger.  after about a week or so of using it, the plastic stuff around the clip started to peel.  not sure how much longer it will last...

i don't want to settle for second best.  i'm on the hunt for the one that gets to travel the world with me.  :o)  any suggestions?

unresolved issues...

i try to ignore the little things.  hastily spoken words that shouldn't have wounded me, misread situations, and even physical pain.  i don't want to appear weak.  i can handle it...until i can't.

with my trip to Belize coming soon (84 more days!), i figured i should probably have my foot checked by a doctor.  i've been having some pain on the ball of my foot off and on for over a year.  yeah...just checked my running log and it started bugging me last may.  though it has been a nuisance, i really wouldn't have had it checked out if it wasn't for the trip.  after all, i can deal with it...

well, i found out friday that i fractured a small bone in my foot (one of the sesamoid bones if you were wondering).  a pea-sized bone that i didn't even realize existed has been the source of the nagging pain.  healing would have happened a LONG time ago had i dealt with the issue in the beginning instead of impeding the process by trying to ignore the ache.

ever since my appointment with the podiatrist, i've been trying to pinpoint other little things in life that haven't received proper attention.  i have a feeling bitterness and procrastination wouldn't be able to commandeer my heart and my time quite as often if i stopped pushing things aside like they don't matter.  little issues would stay little issues.

if it takes less stress, drama, time and energy to deal with things immediately, why do we put it off?  ridiculous...