turmoil.

amidst the excitement of talia's wedding, i felt attacked and discouraged about my life. i feel stuck, not being able to live the life i've always dreamed of. for as long as i can remember, i have dreamt about being married and starting a family. thankfully, after some wise words from my dad, i was able to fully enjoy the entire week of wedding fun. now that i'm home, i have time to process. oh goodie.

(fun posts about the jubilant celebration will be coming soon...i want to include the pictures.)

there seems to be HUGE obstacles between where i am today and where i would like to be. discouragement presses in as i realize my own weaknesses and the height of the mountains surrounding me. impossibilities come to mind as i allow lies of the enemy to hit me in the most vunerable places in my heart.

i want to run. away from situations, my insecurities, financial stress, and life in general. i realize though that i would be running away from things that keep me grounded and sane. friends, family and a job that i LOVE. i don't know where i would go. the place that i desire doesn't really exist here on earth. i would still be me. the same wounds, obnoxious habits and goofy tendancies.

so here i stay. knowing that God has a plan, but frustrated with His timing. i'm struggling with trusting that His way is the best. i hate that my faith is like a rollercoaster with the ups and downs, changing by the minute. i desire peace, but feel like i have to cling to what i have so tightly.

i need prayer. at any given moment, my emotions can range from both extremes of happy to frustrated and upset. when people ask how i'm doing, i sometimes say "fine" because i don't want to talk about it. other times i want to talk, but instead of words, tears pour out.

this season of life that God has me in is probably the hardest and most frustrating that i've experienced so far in my 25 years, but it has also been so key to my faith and relationship with God. please be assured that this is not a life and death situation for me. now more than ever, i need to cling to God and place all of my faith and hope in Him; be fully abandoned to His plans for my life. please join me in praying for the strength to keep trusting Him despite undesirable circumstances.

turmoil.

amidst the excitement of talia's wedding, i felt attacked and discouraged about my life. i feel stuck, not being able to live the life i've always dreamed of. for as long as i can remember, i have dreamt about being married and starting a family. thankfully, after some wise words from my dad, i was able to fully enjoy the entire week of wedding fun. now that i'm home, i have time to process. oh goodie.

(fun posts about the jubilant celebration will be coming soon...i want to include the pictures.)

there seems to be HUGE obstacles between where i am today and where i would like to be. discouragement presses in as i realize my own weaknesses and the height of the mountains surrounding me. impossibilities come to mind as i allow lies of the enemy to hit me in the most vunerable places in my heart.

i want to run. away from situations, my insecurities, financial stress, and life in general. i realize though that i would be running away from things that keep me grounded and sane. friends, family and a job that i LOVE. i don't know where i would go. the place that i desire doesn't really exist here on earth. i would still be me. the same wounds, obnoxious habits and goofy tendancies.

so here i stay. knowing that God has a plan, but frustrated with His timing. i'm struggling with trusting that His way is the best. i hate that my faith is like a rollercoaster with the ups and downs, changing by the minute. i desire peace, but feel like i have to cling to what i have so tightly.

i need prayer. at any given moment, my emotions can range from both extremes of happy to frustrated and upset. when people ask how i'm doing, i sometimes say "fine" because i don't want to talk about it. other times i want to talk, but instead of words, tears pour out.

this season of life that God has me in is probably the hardest and most frustrating that i've experienced so far in my 25 years, but it has also been so key to my faith and relationship with God. please be assured that this is not a life and death situation for me. now more than ever, i need to cling to God and place all of my faith and hope in Him; be fully abandoned to His plans for my life. please join me in praying for the strength to keep trusting Him despite undesirable circumstances.

going to the chapel...

tomorrow the wonderful wedding week extravaganza kicks off. my best friend is getting married on saturday! here is a pic from a few years ago…

going to the chapel...

tomorrow the wonderful wedding week extravaganza kicks off. my best friend is getting married on saturday! here is a pic from a few years ago…

diamond/crater lake extravaganza!

last weekend, my parents, sister, brother, sis-in-law, two nephews, a niece, a family friend and i went camping. well, most of us did. my parents stayed at the crater lake lodge while the rest of us toughed it out at diamond lake. we had an amazing time, and the only frustrating thing...mosquitoes.

the drive was LONG. i love road trips especially when i don't have to drive. :o) katelyn and i amused ourselves with cheerios and cameras and walkie-talkie conversations to the other vehicle.

diamond lake was stunning and peaceful. the campsite was busy, but so close to the water. at night, we were serenaded by fellow campers singing praise songs. unfortunately, i never saw who they were. after we had successfully squished all of the blood-sucking vermin that had weaseled their way into our tent, there was no way i was getting out.

covered in dust and bug spray, hot and tired from setting up camp after the long car ride, we made a beeline straight to the swimming area. meshach and azariah LOVED it, and mari was ok until she got splashed. i could have stayed much longer...but it was dinner time!

the sun rose and the mosquitoes were up before us. after breakfast in the van, we met up with my parents at crater lake. we wandered, had a picnic, took pictures and stared into the mesmerizing deep blue water.

during a much needed nap time for the kiddos (and the grandparents...), four of us trekked down to the lake. interesting side note: the hikers at crater lake are not as friendly as gorge hikers. conversations, smiles and hellos are frequent in the gorge as you are passing people...we rarely got a head nod at crater lake. anyways, the view was sweet from the bottom and i wish we would've had time to take the guided boat tour. monica and i dangled our feet into the frigid water while brandon swam for a couple minutes. the walk back to the top was tiring. apparently it is the equivalent of going up 65 flights of stairs. i quickly realized why most of the people walking up weren't to chatty. :o)

on sunday, mom and dad met us at diamond lake. we rented a pontoon boat and went exploring. meshach desperately wanted to try out his new fishing pole, so we dropped anchor and anticipated a whole lot of nothing. to our surprise we caught one! i caught the only picture...milliseconds later it came off of the hook and back into the lake. we think it was about 15 inches long! pretty exciting.

sadly, our weekend was too short. after lunch we were homeward bound.

i love family.

i love summer.

i love water.

definitely an amazing combination.

diamond/crater lake extravaganza!

last weekend, my parents, sister, brother, sis-in-law, two nephews, a niece, a family friend and i went camping. well, most of us did. my parents stayed at the crater lake lodge while the rest of us toughed it out at diamond lake. we had an amazing time, and the only frustrating thing...mosquitoes.

the drive was LONG. i love road trips especially when i don't have to drive. :o) katelyn and i amused ourselves with cheerios and cameras and walkie-talkie conversations to the other vehicle.

diamond lake was stunning and peaceful. the campsite was busy, but so close to the water. at night, we were serenaded by fellow campers singing praise songs. unfortunately, i never saw who they were. after we had successfully squished all of the blood-sucking vermin that had weaseled their way into our tent, there was no way i was getting out.

covered in dust and bug spray, hot and tired from setting up camp after the long car ride, we made a beeline straight to the swimming area. meshach and azariah LOVED it, and mari was ok until she got splashed. i could have stayed much longer...but it was dinner time!

the sun rose and the mosquitoes were up before us. after breakfast in the van, we met up with my parents at crater lake. we wandered, had a picnic, took pictures and stared into the mesmerizing deep blue water.

during a much needed nap time for the kiddos (and the grandparents...), four of us trekked down to the lake. interesting side note: the hikers at crater lake are not as friendly as gorge hikers. conversations, smiles and hellos are frequent in the gorge as you are passing people...we rarely got a head nod at crater lake. anyways, the view was sweet from the bottom and i wish we would've had time to take the guided boat tour. monica and i dangled our feet into the frigid water while brandon swam for a couple minutes. the walk back to the top was tiring. apparently it is the equivalent of going up 65 flights of stairs. i quickly realized why most of the people walking up weren't to chatty. :o)

on sunday, mom and dad met us at diamond lake. we rented a pontoon boat and went exploring. meshach desperately wanted to try out his new fishing pole, so we dropped anchor and anticipated a whole lot of nothing. to our surprise we caught one! i caught the only picture...milliseconds later it came off of the hook and back into the lake. we think it was about 15 inches long! pretty exciting.

sadly, our weekend was too short. after lunch we were homeward bound.

i love family.

i love summer.

i love water.

definitely an amazing combination.

go check it out!

alexis has a sweet blog. she is pretty cool too. on a hot day like this, you should go check her blog out. :o) CLICK HERE!