burdens are gold.

in the midst of worship tonight, God blasted through some of my misconceptions. i have always felt like my emotions/baggage/burdens or whatever are too heavy. for me, for others and for God. why should i share them? won't they burden the people i share them with?

God gave me a picture. my junk is heavy, but when laid at the cross it is transformed into gold. God calls me to trust him with my surrendered baggage and He treasures that. this is how i am to invest in my relationship with God and help lay the foundations for eternity.

my burdens = God's treasured gold

this makes my heart happy. i have never wanted to trouble anyone including God. freedom to throw off this "stuff" makes my feet want to dance. thank you Jesus!

burdens are gold.

in the midst of worship tonight, God blasted through some of my misconceptions. i have always felt like my emotions/baggage/burdens or whatever are too heavy. for me, for others and for God. why should i share them? won't they burden the people i share them with?

God gave me a picture. my junk is heavy, but when laid at the cross it is transformed into gold. God calls me to trust him with my surrendered baggage and He treasures that. this is how i am to invest in my relationship with God and help lay the foundations for eternity.

my burdens = God's treasured gold

this makes my heart happy. i have never wanted to trouble anyone including God. freedom to throw off this "stuff" makes my feet want to dance. thank you Jesus!

as i lay me down to sleep

i'm pondering an addiction i discovered. well, just think of it as my "security blanket". the beginnings to my addiction started about may 2007. after being thrust into an amazing living situation (600 sq. feet, one bedroom and two others girls), i discovered the joys of wearing an eye mask. i want to make this clear, i loved every minute of that living situation. anyways, our bedtime schedules were not always the same, so i grew accustomed to the beautiful freedom of "lights out" any time i wanted with my super comfortable mask.

fast forward to today. i have my own room, and yet i continue to wear the mask. actually, it's a different one than the original...the old one is lost somewhere in the paris airport. :o) i didn't realize how attached to the stupid thing was until the other night. sometime during my sleep, the mask came off and fell off of my loft bed. i awoke numerous times in the night and each time searched briefly for it.

security, comfort, blocking the light, or whatever i lost sleep over has got me thinking. is this a bad habit that i should try to stop? or can i embrace the silly thing and sleep guilt free? hmmm... any opinions to my silly conundrum?

as i lay me down to sleep

i'm pondering an addiction i discovered. well, just think of it as my "security blanket". the beginnings to my addiction started about may 2007. after being thrust into an amazing living situation (600 sq. feet, one bedroom and two others girls), i discovered the joys of wearing an eye mask. i want to make this clear, i loved every minute of that living situation. anyways, our bedtime schedules were not always the same, so i grew accustomed to the beautiful freedom of "lights out" any time i wanted with my super comfortable mask.

fast forward to today. i have my own room, and yet i continue to wear the mask. actually, it's a different one than the original...the old one is lost somewhere in the paris airport. :o) i didn't realize how attached to the stupid thing was until the other night. sometime during my sleep, the mask came off and fell off of my loft bed. i awoke numerous times in the night and each time searched briefly for it.

security, comfort, blocking the light, or whatever i lost sleep over has got me thinking. is this a bad habit that i should try to stop? or can i embrace the silly thing and sleep guilt free? hmmm... any opinions to my silly conundrum?

time flies when you are having fun?

i don't know if i have been having "fun", but time has sure flown by. i have thought of countless blogs, but haven't taken the time lately. here is a list of random thoughts from the past week or so...

• my dad had another heart procedure done to try and correct his abnormal heart rhythm. again, it didn't work. this has been a frustrating process for my dad, family and also for the head heart specialist @ OHSU. we don't know what the next step will be. please pray!
• nathan vredevelt's memorial service was an amazing testimony to his and his family's faith. it was cool to see how packed east hill could be. i remember wishing church was always that full, but realizing it was for that night. my heart aches for the vredevelts.
• i had an appointment with the worship pastor at east hill. he wants me to audition a few more songs to hear how i harmonize...it is continuing to be a process. i would LOVE prayer and support, as i feel a lot of fear and insecurities pounding me down each step i take. i have never felt so attacked by the enemy.
• i recently watched schindler's list. wow. i usually can distance myself from movies quite a bit, but several things made it quite a bit more personal. i recognized different places that i've visited, including a church in krakow. something else i had learned recently is that one of my great-uncles was one of the first soldiers to go to Auschwitz to liberate the camp.
• i have decided not to buy my brother's condo. after a lot of prayer and consideration, it is not the right time. it's nice to have made a decision.
• i am now an official member of east hill foursquare. eh has been home for me for almost two years now!
• i worked for the first time @ discovery pre-school last friday! it was an amazing breath of fresh air. half the amount of kids and twice the space as my last daycare job. so much fun and i made a lot of new little friends. i look forward to the day i get to substitute again.
• i have loved being creative again. i have been getting more and more ideas lately. randomly they will come to mind. now, to put the ideas into action.
• american idol has been so fun to watch this season. i haven't kept up with my predictions, because i don't always get to watch them right away. so much talent!
• i have a new ministry idea for all my girlfriends. stay tuned, it's definitely in the planning stage.
  
• the weather has been driving me crazy. i absolutely LOVE the sunny days we have sporadically enjoyed, but i yearn for the summer and sun every day! it's a suprise everyday what it looks like outside... sun/rain/snow/clouds?

well, that is a glimpse into my life lately. crazy. let's just hope life will slow down a little bit soon.

time flies when you are having fun?

i don't know if i have been having "fun", but time has sure flown by. i have thought of countless blogs, but haven't taken the time lately. here is a list of random thoughts from the past week or so...

• my dad had another heart procedure done to try and correct his abnormal heart rhythm. again, it didn't work. this has been a frustrating process for my dad, family and also for the head heart specialist @ OHSU. we don't know what the next step will be. please pray!
• nathan vredevelt's memorial service was an amazing testimony to his and his family's faith. it was cool to see how packed east hill could be. i remember wishing church was always that full, but realizing it was for that night. my heart aches for the vredevelts.
• i had an appointment with the worship pastor at east hill. he wants me to audition a few more songs to hear how i harmonize...it is continuing to be a process. i would LOVE prayer and support, as i feel a lot of fear and insecurities pounding me down each step i take. i have never felt so attacked by the enemy.
• i recently watched schindler's list. wow. i usually can distance myself from movies quite a bit, but several things made it quite a bit more personal. i recognized different places that i've visited, including a church in krakow. something else i had learned recently is that one of my great-uncles was one of the first soldiers to go to Auschwitz to liberate the camp.
• i have decided not to buy my brother's condo. after a lot of prayer and consideration, it is not the right time. it's nice to have made a decision.
• i am now an official member of east hill foursquare. eh has been home for me for almost two years now!
• i worked for the first time @ discovery pre-school last friday! it was an amazing breath of fresh air. half the amount of kids and twice the space as my last daycare job. so much fun and i made a lot of new little friends. i look forward to the day i get to substitute again.
• i have loved being creative again. i have been getting more and more ideas lately. randomly they will come to mind. now, to put the ideas into action.
• american idol has been so fun to watch this season. i haven't kept up with my predictions, because i don't always get to watch them right away. so much talent!
• i have a new ministry idea for all my girlfriends. stay tuned, it's definitely in the planning stage.
  
• the weather has been driving me crazy. i absolutely LOVE the sunny days we have sporadically enjoyed, but i yearn for the summer and sun every day! it's a suprise everyday what it looks like outside... sun/rain/snow/clouds?

well, that is a glimpse into my life lately. crazy. let's just hope life will slow down a little bit soon.

changing my perspective

since i have started journaling my devotions here, earlier this week, God has been giving me amazing insight and wisdom. it saddens me to think that i haven't written like this in months, and that i learn SO much through it. God revealed to me today how pessimistic i am in regards to life. though i know He is capable of doing the unimaginable, i don't often think that it will happen in my life. i'm praying fervently that He changes this deep-rooted perspective. i often pray that He will help me manage or get through the junk of every-day life instead of seeking the miraculous possibilities He may have in store for me. i challenge you to do the same.

changing my perspective

since i have started journaling my devotions here, earlier this week, God has been giving me amazing insight and wisdom. it saddens me to think that i haven't written like this in months, and that i learn SO much through it. God revealed to me today how pessimistic i am in regards to life. though i know He is capable of doing the unimaginable, i don't often think that it will happen in my life. i'm praying fervently that He changes this deep-rooted perspective. i often pray that He will help me manage or get through the junk of every-day life instead of seeking the miraculous possibilities He may have in store for me. i challenge you to do the same.

why can't it be sunny all of the time?

the sun is shining and i'm happy. it makes my heart sing! that's all. :o)

why can't it be sunny all of the time?

the sun is shining and i'm happy. it makes my heart sing! that's all. :o)

matters of my heart

life is fragile. life is precious. while being faced with so many heart-wrenching, life-or-death situations, my heart is heavy. i feel a burden to pray and seek God's will in my everyday life. yesterday is gone. where has all the time gone?

whenever i'm faced with death, my mind tends to race and figure out all of the things i didn't do that i had wanted. why did i put things off? i had the time...i lost my opportunity.

yesterday, i took this picture of my nephews and niece. this sums up azariah for the day. he didn't want his picture taken, he wanted me. he was my snuggle-bug. while falling asleep he LOVES to snuggle, but yesterday in particular he clung to me. he wanted my face touching his and if i tried to pull away, even a little, his little arm would pull my face back again. i have to admit that sometimes i feel like i need to do something other than lay there with him and i get frustrated that i'm not doing "enough". there are dishes to clean, and toys everywhere... yesterday i cherished those moments. there will ALWAYS be something else i could do, but there will not always be an opportunity to snuggle or love on the people who are most precious to me. is a clean house or a completed checklist more important than them? than love?

time to work on priorities again. :o)

matters of my heart

life is fragile. life is precious. while being faced with so many heart-wrenching, life-or-death situations, my heart is heavy. i feel a burden to pray and seek God's will in my everyday life. yesterday is gone. where has all the time gone?

whenever i'm faced with death, my mind tends to race and figure out all of the things i didn't do that i had wanted. why did i put things off? i had the time...i lost my opportunity.

yesterday, i took this picture of my nephews and niece. this sums up azariah for the day. he didn't want his picture taken, he wanted me. he was my snuggle-bug. while falling asleep he LOVES to snuggle, but yesterday in particular he clung to me. he wanted my face touching his and if i tried to pull away, even a little, his little arm would pull my face back again. i have to admit that sometimes i feel like i need to do something other than lay there with him and i get frustrated that i'm not doing "enough". there are dishes to clean, and toys everywhere... yesterday i cherished those moments. there will ALWAYS be something else i could do, but there will not always be an opportunity to snuggle or love on the people who are most precious to me. is a clean house or a completed checklist more important than them? than love?

time to work on priorities again. :o)

albany, babies, and a double stoller

my trip down to albany was an awesome time to just get away for the weekend. the babies got to put their new double stroller to the test and loved walking down to an elementary school to play on the playground. i just have to say that i love the stroller too! freedom! ha ha ha! the highlight of the trip (other than family of course!) was the cinnamon rolls. if only i could somehow allow you to smell these. ahhh...nothing beats waking up to mom's homemade cinnamon rolls.
both mornings we enjoyed these hot and fresh out of the oven. heaven!

albany, babies, and a double stoller

my trip down to albany was an awesome time to just get away for the weekend. the babies got to put their new double stroller to the test and loved walking down to an elementary school to play on the playground. i just have to say that i love the stroller too! freedom! ha ha ha! the highlight of the trip (other than family of course!) was the cinnamon rolls. if only i could somehow allow you to smell these. ahhh...nothing beats waking up to mom's homemade cinnamon rolls.
both mornings we enjoyed these hot and fresh out of the oven. heaven!

trains! trains! trains!

one of my Christmas presents to Meshach this year was a trip down to albany on the amtrak. last friday, we headed out for our big adventure! it was so exciting. i had a blast! we brought books and other things to do, but none of that was needed...we didn't even touch them. the hour and forty-five minutes was filled with happy chatter of what we were seeing. he loved pointing out everything outside and he thought there was another train every time our train whistle blew. the picture of the two of us sums up the whole experience. he could barely stop looking out the window! this was one of my favorite Christmas presents too!

trains! trains! trains!

one of my Christmas presents to Meshach this year was a trip down to albany on the amtrak. last friday, we headed out for our big adventure! it was so exciting. i had a blast! we brought books and other things to do, but none of that was needed...we didn't even touch them. the hour and forty-five minutes was filled with happy chatter of what we were seeing. he loved pointing out everything outside and he thought there was another train every time our train whistle blew. the picture of the two of us sums up the whole experience. he could barely stop looking out the window! this was one of my favorite Christmas presents too!

my online life journal

i'm starting to write a new blog consisting of what i'm reading in my life journal. i'm praying that making it public may help me read the bible more consistently and that it will encourage and inspire anyone who reads it. for all of you who aren't sure what a "life journal" is, it is simply a way that my church, East Hill Fourquare, has equipped us to grow as a church. the journal lays out a reading plan that you can find at http://www.easthill.org/resources/readingplan.cfm. feel free to check it often and keep me accountable if you haven't seen a post for a while.

my online life journal

i'm starting to write a new blog consisting of what i'm reading in my life journal. i'm praying that making it public may help me read the bible more consistently and that it will encourage and inspire anyone who reads it. for all of you who aren't sure what a "life journal" is, it is simply a way that my church, East Hill Fourquare, has equipped us to grow as a church. the journal lays out a reading plan that you can find at http://www.easthill.org/resources/readingplan.cfm. feel free to check it often and keep me accountable if you haven't seen a post for a while.